A great first step...

... is simply to start talking about school.

Not all at once and not all the time, just little, gentle mentions that give your child time to get used to the idea. This kind of slow, gentle drip-feeding can really help if your child finds change tricky or tends to feel things deeply, it gives them time to process at their own pace.

Helping Your Child Feel Ready for School: Talk About Feelings First

Starting primary school is a huge milestone – and it can bring up a whole mix of emotions for little ones and grown-ups alike. One of the best ways to help your child feel emotionally ready is to start talking early and often about how they’re feeling.

Why this matters

So often, we focus on the practical bits – recognising their name, getting dressed by themselves, or managing their lunchbox. But how your child feels about starting school plays a massive role in how settled and confident they’ll be.

Whether they’re excited, nervous, unsure, or all of the above (which is very normal!), giving them space to express their feelings helps them feel seen and supported.

Helping your child build emotional literacy – that is, learning to recognise and name their feelings – can make the transition into school life feel much more manageable. It’s not about removing tricky feelings altogether. It’s about helping them understand that all feelings are normal and that they can cope with them.

When to have these chats

These conversations don’t need to be big or serious. In fact, they often work best when they happen in gentle, everyday moments.

Here are a few natural times you could try:

  • Bathtime or bedtime: When things are calmer and your child feels close to you.
  • In the car or buggy: Side-by-side chats can feel less intense for children than face-to-face ones.
  • While drawing, cooking or building together: Having something to do with their hands can help children open up.
  • After reading a story about school: Books are a brilliant way to start conversations without making it feel too personal straight away.

You might say:

“I’ve been thinking about you starting school soon. I wonder what you’re feeling about it today?”

Or:

“Some children feel excited about school, some feel a bit wobbly, and lots feel both! What do you think it might feel like for you?”

Even if they don’t answer much at first, these little check-ins build trust. They show your child that you’re interested in how they feel and that it’s safe to talk about tricky things with you.

Emotional readiness for school

If they find it hard to put feelings into words

If your child finds it hard to put feelings into words, try:

  • Using picture books about school to open up discussion.
  • Making a simple feelings chart with emojis or drawings to help them point to how they feel.
  • Using toys or soft animals to act out school scenarios – sometimes it’s easier to talk through a teddy than face-to-face!

Keep your tone light, curious and reassuring. You're not trying to fix every worry, just showing them they’re not alone.

Want more ideas like this?

This is just one of the ways you can gently support your child in the run-up to starting school.

If you’d love more practical tips, easy-to-use tools, and gentle encouragement (for you and your child!), my full eBook “Happy Heart, Smooth Start” is packed with ideas to make things feel more manageable.

It’s based on lived experience, child psychology, and real strategies families find helpful – so you can feel informed, empowered, and emotionally ready for this next chapter too.

Discover the full guide here

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