Saying Goodbye: Preparing for Separation Moments When Starting School

Even when children are excited about starting school, the moment they have to say goodbye can still feel huge.

It’s often the final hug, the wave at the classroom door, or the moment they spot your eyes watering (just a bit) that triggers a wobble. And for some children, these transitions are especially tricky- not because they’re not ready, but because their attachment is strong.

And that’s something to be proud of.

Why goodbye moments feel so big

Saying goodbye at school drop-off isn’t just a quick exchange, it’s a moment when your child is navigating separation, uncertainty, and the need for safety all at once.

At this age, many children are still developing the ability to trust that someone they love will return after a period apart. While this is developing, children may worry that the connection will disappear when you're not physically there.

Their emotional regulation system is also still maturing, meaning that transitions like separating from you can feel emotionally overwhelming, even when they’re otherwise confident.

That’s why a gentle, predictable goodbye routine can make such a big difference.

One tip to try: Make the goodbye predictable

Children find safety in patterns. A short, consistent routine- like a wave, a special phrase, or even a funny handshake can offer emotional containment at the point of separation.

Try creating a mini goodbye routine now, and practise it during other short separations (like at grandparents’ or when popping to the shop), so it becomes familiar before school begins.

The more predictable it feels, the more confident your child will become.

kiss pin

Another idea: Give them something to hold onto

When you’re not physically close, a symbolic reminder of your connection can help regulate your child’s emotions. Research in child psychology shows that physical tokens of attachment often called transitional/connection objects can ease anxiety and help children feel emotionally anchored during separations.

That’s exactly why we created our Together Always Kiss Pins.

One for your child. One for you. Pop a pin on each other's clothing or bag for a visible kiss you can carry around, giving comfort and connection all day long even when you are apart. Designed to come as a pair because the act of giving each other a kiss is where the connection lies, and your little one knows you also have something to remind you of them all day too.

They are perfect for goodbye moments because pinning them on each others clothing is a physical act which becomes part of the routine.

A gentle reminder

Starting school is a big milestone for both of you. But it doesn’t all have to be perfect from day one.

With some gentle preparation, a few connection tools, and routines that feel just right for your family, those wobbly goodbye moments can become something softer and even special.

You’ve got this. And so do they.

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